Trauma can be isolating. It’s one of those experiences that make you feel truly alone—the fear of speaking out against your abuser, the shame of enduring the abuse for so long, and the constant worry that no one will believe you because you didn’t speak up sooner. The decision to internalize everything, in an attempt to protect yourself from judgment, only deepens the loneliness. Surviving abuse makes it hard to trust others with your heart, your emotions, or your truth.

Managing court battles adds a whole new level of isolation. There’s this vast space of unknowns that can be terrifying. Your main goal is to protect yourself and your child, but when faced with the unpredictable actions of your abuser, you question everything: Am I fighting hard enough? Am I effectively expressing my desires to my lawyer and the court? Am I conveying how their actions could harm my child? Does anyone truly care about my child’s well-being?

And then there’s the financial and time burden. Lawyers are expensive, and the court process is painfully slow. If you’re shouldering the financial weight alone, it feels like you’re working just to pay legal fees. On top of that, you’re taking time off work to make it to court dates. It’s even harder when you need your support network to take time off as well. Asking for help can be challenging, but it’s necessary if you want to emerge from this grueling process as mentally and emotionally intact as possible.

Finding Your People: How I Built My Support Network

Let me be clear: I know that my familial support system is strong, and I’m deeply grateful for that. But I also made a conscious effort to build an additional network of support that extended beyond family.

• Therapy and Professional Support: I started therapy because there were days when talking to family and friends just wasn’t enough. I needed solutions. Therapy helped me navigate the healing process from the abuse, manage the emotional rollercoaster of the court battles, and ultimately keep my mind healthy so I could show up for my child in the best way possible.
• Online Communities and Groups for Abuse Survivors: Platforms like Facebook and Instagram have many active communities for abuse survivors, people navigating the family court system, and working mothers. Joining these groups helped me realize I wasn’t alone and gave me a safe outlet to share and connect.
• Friends and Family Who Listen Without Judgment: Once I found the courage to share my situation with my family, most of them were very supportive. Of course, there were questions and confusion—my abuser had charmed them too. But as time went on and the mask slipped, they understood more. They let me cry, they babysat when I needed a break, and they talked me through my emotions. I couldn’t be more grateful for the friends and family who held me up when I felt my weakest.
• Connecting with Other Single Mothers and Entrepreneurs: I found a group of friends who are also mothers and entrepreneurs. Some are fighting similar battles, and some aren’t, but they all understand my struggles in one way or another. They’ve become an invaluable part of my support network.

How to Start Building Your Own Support System

I know it sounds cliché, but truly, seek therapy. Professional guidance can help you navigate the intense emotions of parenting and the even more intense emotions surrounding family court. Therapy positions you to be the best version of yourself for both you and your child.

Beyond therapy, reconnecting with trusted friends and joining online communities can be a game changer. Start small—reach out to just one safe person, someone who listens without judgment. You don’t need to share the whole story; sometimes just saying, “I’ve been struggling and could use some support,” is enough. When you do reach out, set boundaries. It’s okay to say, “I don’t need advice right now; I just need someone to listen.”

Be open to new connections. Letting people in, even when it feels vulnerable, is vital. As single mothers, it’s easy to feel like we have to do everything alone, but allowing yourself to receive help can make all the difference.

You Are Not Alone

I’ve learned that healing isn’t a solitary journey. It’s about allowing others to lift you up when you can’t stand on your own. While it may feel scary to reach out, remember this: you are never truly alone. Your community is out there, ready to support you every step of the way. All you need to do is let go and trust that the right people will hold you up.