Happy New Year! It’s been a while since I’ve written and there is so much I am excited to share with you! I thought about sharing my most recent updates from court, and how complicated my Narc ex has been, (the holidays are the IDEAL time for these kinds of people to make things complicated). I considered telling you my latest breakthrough in therapy, healing is continuous!

But, in leu of the holiday’s that have recently passed and today being Valentine’s Day, I want to talk about the joys and blessings that I have been experiencing. Through the drama, trauma, and continued fight last year, I somehow managed to find love, peace and healing joy!

Healing from trauma is a journey that often feels lonely, but I want to share something deeply personal and beautiful: I found love again. Not just any love—a love that embraces my scars, cherishes my child, and supports me in my ongoing fight to heal and thrive.

The Road to Healing

Before love could enter my life, I had to face my trauma. Overcoming narcissistic abuse left me emotionally exhausted. Unfortunately, I wasted MONTHS trying to coparent with my ex, so I didn’t start my court battle until after my relationship started. The decision to start the court battle was a hard one! I had to communicate with this man that I was about to start the fight of my life to protect myself and my child. Thankfully he was in support, and prioritizing my mental health and creating a safe, nurturing environment for my child became my focus.

Healing isn’t linear. Some days felt like progress; others felt like setbacks. But with time, therapy, and self-compassion, I started to rediscover myself. I wasn’t “healed” when I met my partner, but I was open to the possibility of love.

Having Someone Who Truly Sees Me

When he and I connected, I wasn’t looking for someone to “fix” me. In fact, I wasn’t looking for anything. But, I knew I wanted a partner who understood my journey, respected my boundaries, and valued my daughter as much as I do. He became all that and more.

He doesn’t just love me; he loves the parts of me that were shaped by my trauma. He sees the strength it took to rebuild my life and stands by me as I continue my healing journey.

What’s more, he embraced my daughter as his own. Watching him care for her with so much love and patience melts my heart in ways I can’t describe.

Preparing for a New Chapter

Now, as I write this, I’m engaged to be married and rocking our 1 month old child to sleep —a beautiful reminder that love, resilience, and new beginnings are possible even after the darkest times. This has been a testament to our partnership and the life we’re building together.

Lessons I’ve Learned About Finding Love After Trauma

1. Heal for yourself, not for love. Focus on rebuilding your own confidence and self-worth. Love will come when you’re ready.
2. Set boundaries and stick to them. Your past doesn’t define you, but it has taught you what you need in a partner. Don’t compromise on those needs.
3. Be open but cautious. It’s okay to take things slow. Trust is built over time.
4. Communicate your story. A good partner will listen without judgment and support you unconditionally.

To Anyone Who’s Healing

If you’re reading this and wondering if love is possible after trauma, let my story be a reminder: it is. The right partner won’t shy away from your scars—they’ll see them as proof of your strength and resilience.

Love doesn’t erase trauma, but it can help you feel safe, supported, and cherished as you continue to heal.

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