Let’s be honest—just the thought of entering the family court system can be overwhelming. I know firsthand how emotionally draining and confusing it can be. After ONLY seven months of trying to peacefully co-parent, I finally reached my breaking point. I was tired of being bullied and manipulated by my child’s father—and I knew I had to protect my peace and create stability for my daughter.

Though making the decision to involve the courts was devastating at the time, I now know it was the right one for my situation. Like many mothers, I didn’t want to keep my child away from her father—I simply wanted structure, safety, and respect.

If you’re a mother preparing to step into this process, I want you to know you’re not alone. This guide is here to help you prepare emotionally, mentally, and financially for what’s ahead—and to remind you that you can make it through.

The Reality of Family Court

When you begin the family court process, it brings up a lot of emotions:

Fear of a stranger (a judge) making decisions for your child

Confusion over who this new version of your co-parent has become

Guilt over whether this is the best choice for your child

Anger and grief as your life shifts into the legal system

Even now, as I continue navigating this process myself, I want to help you avoid the overwhelm by sharing what I wish I had known from the start.

Understanding the Family Court Process

Family court isn’t just about child support and custody—it becomes involved in every detail of your parenting journey. One of my biggest misconceptions was thinking the process would be fast. Spoiler alert… it’s not.

Here’s how my timeline looked:

Hired my attorney in April

Paperwork filed in June

My child’s father was served in July

First court hearing scheduled for October (only because I filed for emergency custody)

Hopefully coming to a conclusion at the end of this week which is the last weekend in June

Though my case has moved quicker than other cases I’ve heard about, nothing moves quickly. Be prepared for long wait times, delays, and lots of back and forth.

Here are some terms every mom should understand before stepping into family court:

Legal Custody – The right to make major decisions about your child’s life (education, healthcare, religion).

Physical Custody – Where your child lives and who handles day-to-day care. Sole Custody – When one parent has full legal and/or physical custody.

Parenting Plan – A detailed agreement about custody, visitation, and responsibilities.

Mediation – A neutral third party helps resolve issues without going to trial.

Guardian ad Litem (GAL) – A court-appointed advocate for the child’s best interests.

Contempt of Court – When someone doesn’t follow a court order.

Motion – A request for the court to make a decision on a specific issue.

Temporary Order – A short-term court ruling while your case is ongoing.

Final Judgment – The court’s official, long-term ruling in your case.

Emotional Preparation: Surviving the Rollercoaster

Therapy saved me—literally. It helped me heal from the abuse, cope with post-separation stress, and stay grounded through it all.

Other tools that helped me:

Journaling: I started when I was pregnant and haven’t stopped. It’s part therapy, part memory log, and part evidence (trust me, it helps).

Support System: I cannot overstate the power of community. I had friends and family read messages from my co-parent when I was too anxious to open them myself. I’ve never attended a court hearing alone. My mom, stepdad, dad, step mother, & grandmother—they’ve all shown up to stand beside me.

When emotions are high, stay calm and focused. Court can feel isolating. Often, you won’t speak directly to the judge or other officials. Your lawyer will do most of the talking, and any conversations with GALs or mediators are typically mirrored for both parents.

So take this advice: Lean into your support system. Let them hold you up when it gets heavy.

Financial Preparation: Budgeting for the Battle

Family court is expensive—period.

Even before my daughter was born, I started saving. I knew her father would continue threatening me with court, so I planned for it and filed myself. But not every mom has the privilege or foresight to prepare financially. Many are blindsided.

Here are real expenses you might face:

Attorney fees

Filing and court costs

GAL fees

Childcare for court days

Transportation and parking

If you’re in a tough spot financially, don’t stay in an abusive or unhealthy situation out of fear. Look for:

Legal aid services

Pro bono lawyers

Payment plans or loans

Even putting away a little at a time can help if you’re planning ahead.

Document EVERYTHING: Your Paper Trail is Power

This is critical. Start documenting now—and don’t stop. Keep:

Screenshots of messages

Notes of every interaction

Logs of visitation dates

Records of expenses and receipts

All court paperwork

I insisted early on that all communication go through a co-parenting app that my lawyer could access. My child’s father had a habit of editing or deleting iMessages to manipulate conversations. That app protected me.

Create digital folders or spreadsheets if that works best for you. And yes—keep paper copies of every court document, even if your lawyer sends them electronically. You never know when you’ll need to revisit them.

Final Thoughts: You Are Not Alone

In my heart, family court is a last resort. Ideally, co-parents should love their children more than they dislike each other and work together in peace. But when that’s not possible—especially if fear or abuse is involved—it’s okay to take action.

You are doing what’s best for your child, even when it’s hard.

Even when it’s scary.

Even when it doesn’t go exactly how you hoped.

Just remember:

👉 Stay focused on what you can control

👉 Set boundaries and protect your peace

👉 Prioritize your mental health b.08645

👉 Lean on your village

👉 Keep your child’s well-being at the center

You are not alone. You are not powerless. And you will get through this.

I’d love to hear from you:

Have you experienced the family court system? What do you wish you knew before it started? Share your thoughts in the comments and let’s support each other through this journey.

Follow me on all social media: @ahealingmomboss

Let’s continue the conversation and build a community of strong, healing mothers 💪🏽